due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
