Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
