I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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