weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
send nudes
from the living room?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
