Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
