She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
A bitchslap is in order.
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