remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
