did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
