If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
