the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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