Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
where are you?
Hypothermia
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
