Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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