I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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