if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
