just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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