no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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