so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
