I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
