So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
How does it feel to date your dad?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
