My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
