so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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