i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
