I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
