Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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