my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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