Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
