i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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