Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I think I won the penis lottery.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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