idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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