Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Randomize
