omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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