My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
