I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize
