I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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