So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
