i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
