I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize