I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
