Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
