maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Drunk is not a location!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
