So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
