Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
