Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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