so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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