I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
