And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Found your dick twin last night
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
