I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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