Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
