oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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