nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
