well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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