he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
