I am puke
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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