You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
