You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize