i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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