yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
