dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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