An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
