ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i need some magic done to my vagina
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
