Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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