it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
