At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
