you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
